Facing massive local traffic disruption due to the impending closure of the I-90 center roadway, the Mercer Island City Council unanimously approved a motion to start a GoFundMe campaign to build a new, Mercer Island-only bridge across Lake Washington. The motion was approved at Monday night’s special session of the city council.
“Let’s face it, we got bupkis,” said Mayor Bart Bastion to the assembled crowd of more than two hundred community members and three disgruntled Seattle bloggers. “Sound Transit and WSDOT have refused to negotiate in good faith, so it’s time we take matters into our own hands. Unfortunately, we spent the city’s entire 2017 budget on muffin baskets for the Sound Transit board, so we need to pass the hat.”
Preliminary designs for the new bridge show dedicated entrance and exit ramps emanating from Island Crest Way, replacing the I-90 egress that is scheduled to close this summer. Heading east, the bridge feeds directly into the Bellevue Square parking garage. Heading west, it feeds directly into Swedish Medical Center’s physician parking lot, though the council is now considering strong community feedback to add additional egress to the Tesla Service Center at 6th Ave South and Royal Brougham Way.
“We’re glad that the city council has finally decided to put the needs of Islanders first,” commented local concerned citizen C. Ken Little, “But not only is this too late, it doesn’t go far enough. We also need to build a helicopter landing pad in the town center, so that we can medevac people off of Mercer Island the instant their property values start dropping.”
Seattle activists who attended the meeting were struck by the heavy turnout and the passion of the Islanders who addressed the city council. “I’ve never encountered such a whiny, entitled group of people in my life,” tweeted Z is for Zoinks! columnist Evanka Z. Borat, “Well, not since the last time I walked through South Lake Union at lunchtime.”
Islanders contacted by The Distorter staff expressed delight with the city council’s new plan, albeit with one frequent caveat, as expressed by this local resident: “Whatever you do with the new bridge, don’t give it a bike path.”