ELECTION NIGHT SPECIAL: Victorious Candidate Declares Himself More Popular Than Kim Jong-un

Dave D'Souza

School District Director Position No. 1 candidate Dave D’Souza, in a live address from his campaign headquarters, commented on his margin of victory, exclaiming, “The voters have spoken. I am more popular than Kim Jong-un!”

Initial returns from the King County Elections indicate that with 29% of possible votes counted, D’Souza has 98.88% of the votes in his race to join the school board.

At press time, representatives of the Workers’ Party of Korea had yet to respond to The Distorter’s request for comment.

North Korean Workers’ Party First Secretary Kim Jong-Un is not directly elected by the citizens of North Korea, but the parliamentary candidates who are members of his party’s alliance were elected in the most recent election with 100% of the popular vote.

More on this story as it develops.