Guest Editorial: Mercer Island Is A Festering Hellscape That We Can’t Afford To Live In

Manfred Splainer

By Manfred Splainer, Island Expert

Open your eyes and look around, fellow Mercer Islanders. Our downtown has turned into a ticky-tacky collection of soulless, high-rise buildings; with the constant traffic and every parking space filled, it’s no wonder that nobody goes there anymore. Meanwhile, a shady, Big Art cabal is planning to destroy the last little patch of green space we have in the Town Center. Sound Transit and the federal government are about to take away our ability to use the HOV lanes to get to and from Seattle. And the only thing to eat on the island is pizza. All of this while our local elected officials stand helplessly by. Simply stated, this place is going to hell in a handbasket. It is no longer the Mercer Island I grew up in, the Mercer Island I know and love.

But do you know what the worst part is? Housing prices have surged so much that nobody can afford to live here!

I cannot believe how much my home has appreciated in value during the forty years that I’ve owned it, and it sure shows in my property tax bills. My daughter and son-in-law want to move to Mercer Island, even though I’ve warned them that the I-90 bridge is about to collapse and the public schools are overcrowded from the hundreds of school-aged children living in apartments in the Town Center. But even with their well-paid tech jobs, my kids can’t afford to buy a house here. They’re moving to Issaquah instead. Can you believe that? I might have to admit to my neighbors that my grandchildren are growing up in Issaquah!

Who are these fools who have so much money that they are prepared to spend millions of dollars to buy a house in a community on the verge of total collapse? And if you know any of them, can you give me their phone numbers?

We need new leadership in this community: Men and women who are prepared to turn Mercer Island back into the place it was in the glorious 1970s. If they can do that, you can bet that home prices will follow.