Mercer Island Fails To Qualify For 2016 Darwin Awards

Mercer Island's headquarters for the 2016 Darwin Awards competition.

Mercer Island extreme sports enthusiasts received a crushing blow yesterday when it was revealed that, despite a massive Island-wide effort on Monday, July 4th involving hundreds of participants, no Island residents qualified for the 2016 Darwin Awards. And while numerous other Puget Sound-area residents qualified for honorable mention, there were no similarly-ranked competitors reported from Mercer Island.

Mercer Island Darwin Award Competition Committee Chairperson Gregg Mendel conveyed frustration when he observed, “We really thought this was going to be our year. On an island filled with untrained people handling highly flammable explosive devices under the influence of alcohol, we should have been a lock to generate a nominee.”

Unlike Bellevue and Seattle, Mercer Island continues to invest every July 4th in sending Darwin Award competitors on to the state level. For its part, Washington State has been unable to compete successfully on the national level with the likes of perennial champion Florida.

Despite this setback, Islanders remain undiscouraged. Added Mendel: “While we weren’t successful this week, with so many Tesla owners here it’s just a matter of time before Mercer Island has a Darwin Award nominee.”