Mercer Island To Resettle High Net Worth Refugees

The gateway to Mercer Island. Unbeknownst to many, the sign's base is inscribed with a poem containing the words, "Give me... your huddled masses yearning to bike free."

Mercer Island officials announced yesterday that they would welcome refugees fleeing persecution in other countries, provided they have a net worth of at least seven figures. With this announcement, the city joins a chorus of communities across the United States reacting to changes in federal immigration policy introduced by last week’s presidential executive order.

“In these contentious times, it is imperative that we Islanders can be counted upon to uphold basic American values,” said Mercer Island Chamber of Commerce member and local realtor Gemma Lazarus, “as long as we are also upholding Mercer Island property values.”

Not all Islanders support the local refugee resettlement plan. “I don’t care how wealthy these refugees are, we simply don’t have room for any more people on Mercer Island,” said local concerned citizen Zeena Fabio. “Can’t they emigrate to B.C. like everyone else?”

Asked if the million-dollar requirement is flexible, Lazarus said that in cases of extreme hardship, they would accept refugees with documented liquid assets as low as $800,000, adding, “at that point, you’re half a million below the last year’s median home price. And then what’s left to pay for Pilates classes?”