Islanders Resist ST3 By Foregoing Purchases Of Second Teslas

Artist's rendering of a typical Mercer Island parking lot. Scenes like this will become less frequent if the "UniTeslafication" movement takes hold on the island.

ST3 Tax Increase Spurs Calls For “UniTeslafication”

Shocked by the sudden increase in vehicle excise taxes spurred by the passage of ST3, Mercer Island families are fighting back the one way they can: “UniTeslafication”, or choosing to own only one Tesla.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s a highly charged issue,” said Island resident and Model S P85D owner Otto Gans. “But there comes a time when you have make sacrifices for your principles. My wife Electra and I have joined the ST3 resistance. We agree that one Tesla per family is enough.”

Recent news reports indicate that Tesla owners subject to the ST3-based RTA excise tax are seeing increases to their annual vehicle registration costs of $1000 or more. The uproar over this tax increase is amplified by the realization that the formula used to calculate vehicle values declines far more gradually than real-world depreciation.

Mercer Island-based electrical vehicle analyst O.M. “Buzz” Ampere believes that even if UniTeslafication sweeps the island, it is unlikely to have a material impact on the financial results of the Palo Alto-based automobile manufacturer. Ampere, who owns a Roadster and a Model X Signature Edition, said, “While it will undoubtedly cost Tesla some sales, there are still thousands of families on Mercer Island that — for reasons I cannot explain — have yet to purchase their first Tesla.”

Some local leaders have been quick to point out the practical benefits of UniTeslafication. Island Cycling Club President Eddy X. Mercer, owner of a Model S 60, said: “The money you save on RTA taxes by not owning a second Tesla makes a nice down payment on a Specialized S-Works Tarmac.”

As for the Gans family, they are still coping with the consequences of their high-minded stand. Lamented Mr. Gans: “Electra had her heart set on a Model X, but now she’s going to have to settle for a new Lexus.”