Supporters of Defeated City Council Candidates Flee to Canada

Vehicles belonging to disgruntled Mercer Island residents prepare to cross the border into Canada.

Stunned by the results of the last week’s local city council elections, a group of Mercer Island residents is putting their money where their mouths are and relocating to Canada.

“The voters have spoken, at least those not too stupid or lazy to fill out and mail in their ballots, and it’s clear that the majority of Mercer Island citizens have a different vision for its future than my compatriots and I do,” said Ronald Grump, president of Concerned Citizens for Concerned Citizens Groups on Mercer Island. “People always threaten to move to Canada when the candidates they oppose get elected, but dad-gummit, we’re actually going to do it.”

It’s too early to estimate how many people will ultimately join the Mercer-Island-to-Canada caravan, but local realtors have noticed a sudden uptick in requests for house valuations. One realtor projects that the number of older, mid-century modern homes that are likely to enter the market in the next few months will be so large that local real estate vultures developers won’t be able to absorb the supply for their tear down and replace with McMansions remodeling projects.

When asked where in Canada he and his fellow dissatisfied Islanders plan to go, Grump responded, “Look at what’s happening to Mercer Island: An overbuilt town center with too tall buildings that are blocking sunlight, destroying the local character, and choking our streets with traffic. We simply can’t take it any longer. So we’re moving to downtown Vancouver.”