Following up on the recent release of the 2016 U.S. News & World Report high school rankings, which placed Mercer Island High School eighth among high schools in Washington State, The Distorter set out to gauge the reactions of the Mercer Island community.
Here is a representative sample of quotes from parents, as collected by a Distorter staff member:
“We ranked eighth? That means there are seven high schools in the state that ranked higher than ours. Am I getting that right?”
“Are any of those seven higher-ranked schools within driving distance of Mercer Island? I’m asking for a friend.”
“You said, ‘eighth’? Out of 477 high schools in the state? If my math is right, and since I didn’t attend MIHS, it probably is, that doesn’t even put it in the top one percent.”
“I just paid my property tax bill, and it was a doozy. You’d think with all of the money we spend on schools here… I mean, I don’t want to criticize the teachers or administration or anything. I’m just saying.”
“Does that survey include private schools too?”
“Those rating systems are inherently flawed, so I don’t pay attention to them. As long as my kids get into Ivy League schools, I could care less what some East Coast scandal rag says.”
Reached for comment, a Mercer Island School District official replied, “The constant feedback we get from parents is what makes teaching on Mercer Island such a unique and stimulating experience.”
As of press time, the MIHS student body was not available to respond, as they were all fully occupied preparing to post their latest Snapchat stories.