New Plant To Address Surge in Demand Created by Tesla Owners
The United States Department of Energy announced today that it has approved the application by the City of Mercer Island and Puget Sound Energy to build a new coal-fired power plant in Pioneer Park. PSE states that this new power plant is necessary to address the surge in demand for electricity on Mercer Island, a demand created by the growing number of Tesla vehicles owned by Island residents.
“We thought we had accounted for the electricity needs of Mercer Island customers, and then this Tesla thing happened,” said Leon Tusk, spokesperson for PSE. “At the current rate of increase in Tesla ownership, we’ll be unable to meet the basic electricity demands of Mercer Island within five years.”
Added Mayor Bart Bastion: “We’re pleased to be part of PSE’s plan to encourage the use of zero emissions vehicles on Mercer Island.”
According to the application on file, coal will be mined in Newcastle and shipped across Lake Washington by barge to Clarke Beach Park. The coal will be burned in a state-of-the-art “clean coal” plant in Pioneer Park’s northeast quadrant and the generated electricity will be stored at the existing power substation next to the South End Fire Station. Coal slurry and effluents will initially be stored in a surge pool in the park’s ravine; when capacity there is exhausted, they will be delivered to Seward Park via a custom-built pipeline.
To address feedback from local animal rights activists, PSE will provide Yugoslavian Army-surplus gas masks for all horses that are boarded at the Mercer Island Saddle Club.
Yugoslavian Army-surplus horse gas masks. (Image credit: delcampe.net)
While numerous concerned citizens have complained about the cost of this venture, Tusk explained that putting a power plant in Pioneer Park is the cheapest way to increase the amount of electricity available to the Island: “We looked at burying additional power delivery lines under Mercer Island, but the property values and the threat of litigation from homeowners made this option cost prohibitive.”