City Hires Seeing-Eye Dogs to Complete Visioning Process

City-employed seeing-eye dogs will the complete Town Center Visioning Process after repeated human failures to produce a vision.

The Mercer Island City Council announced today that it has hired a group of seeing-eye dogs to complete the Town Center Visioning Process.

“After several years and countless meetings, we are reluctantly forced to admit that putting humans in charge of the Town Center Visioning Process has been a colossal waste of time,” announced Mayor Bart Bastion. “Let’s face it: We got nothing.”

“We are pleased to be able to assist the City of Mercer Island in achieving a comprehensive vision for the Town Center,” said three-year-old German Shepherd Gerhard “Sparky” Oberhausen. “Our extensive training in seeing what humans cannot has prepared us to take on this challenge.”

While not often publicized, seeing-eye dogs have been used by numerous cities in Western Washington to perform complex and politically-sensitive urban planning tasks. The best known examples of this are conceiving the off-leash area in Marymoor Park and commissioning the massive “Hammering Man” pee-marking spot next to the Seattle Art Museum.

The new arrangement was nearly scuttled when the dogs learned of the late 2015 resignation of former city manager Noel Treat. Said Oberhausen, “We didn’t know him well, but we sure liked the sound of his name.”