Islanders Prepare For “Even Worse” 2017 Campaign Season

Mercer Island gets a head start on the 2017 campaign season.

As the rest of America begins to move past the lengthy and contentious 2016 election season, Mercer Island citizens steel themselves to withstand another heated election season in 2017.

“I lived through Mercer Island’s 2015 campaign season, and if you thought 2016 was bad, you obviously don’t remember 2015,” said long-time Island resident and attorney L. Eva Malone. “Between squabbling over Mercerdale Park, huge fights over I-90 and the Town Center, and three city council seats up for election, 2017 promises to be even worse.”

Added another local resident, professional sleep study participant Al Pathetic: “We still have political signs up all over the Island and I’m getting emails asking me to sign another parks petition. Plus the city is constantly inviting us to forums to learn about future projects. Can we get a break, at least until January?”

Local mental health experts advise vulnerable residents to stay away from social media — especially — until after next Election Day, November 7, 2017.

Still, not all Islanders see the future in such bleak terms. Said Islander Risa Gellman: “At least I’ve stopped receiving four pieces of mail every day from Steve Litzow’s campaign.”

In other Island news, an organization called Vision Mercer Island is denying rumors that it is attempting to reanimate former Mercer Island mayor Aubrey Davis.