May Day Melee As Island Anarchists Litter At Starbucks

Mercer Island's North End Starbucks, site of a May Day disturbance caused by local anarchists.

Chaos ensued on Sunday as Mercer Island anarchists took to the streets for a May Day rally that culminated with them littering in front of a North End Starbucks.

The anarchists, who declined to give their full names to a reporter but referred to themselves as “Tom A.” and “Mike C.”, said they were protesting the failures of the capitalist system to manage the growth of the Mercer Island Town Center. Their May Day march, which began at the Starbucks on the southwest corner of SE 27th St and 77th Ave SE and went all the way to the Starbucks on the northeast corner of SE 27th St and 76th Ave SE, ended with the two men dropping their used Frappuccino® cups on the ground outside the Starbucks entrance, sending ice scattering across the sidewalk. An unidentified Starbucks employee bravely inserted herself between the anarchists and picked up the cups before further vandalism could occur.

While law-abiding Islanders are reeling from this display of unruliness, conversations with the anarchists suggest that it could have been much worse. “We considered using our minivans to block the drive-through,” said one, “But our wives needed to take the kids to soccer practice.”

Mercer Island police officers were called to the scene but were unable to issue citations due to lack of evidence.

Reflecting on the events of the day, the anarchists were pleased with their May Day protest but vow to continue their crusade: “If we don’t get our way, we’ll burn this city to the ground! Well, OK, we won’t literally burn the city to the ground, but we’ll appear at all of the city council meetings and be very, very active on Nextdoor.”