An overflow crowd of Islanders flooded city council chambers last night to hear leaders of the Mercer Island Center for the Arts announce to the council that, as part of a self-described “flushing”, they are renaming their organization the “Mercer Island Commode Association” and scrapping their plan to build an arts center in the corner of Mercerdale Park, in favor of construction of a massive public toilet.
The oversized commode, which upon completion would become the world’s largest composting toilet, measuring thirty feet in height, would replace the public bathrooms located in the decaying former recycling center building.
“We’ve heard loud and clear from a small but vocal contingent of Islanders that the only way they will accept a new building on the site of the old recycling center is if it is a replacement for the bathrooms used by visitors to Mercerdale Park,” said new MICA spokesperson Don DeLou. “So we’ve pivoted to an entirely new identity and mission, which — and I emphasize this — does not include building a new arts center in the northwest corner of Mercerdale Park.”
Red-t-shirt-clad members of Concerned Citizens for Mercer Island Parks expressed mixed reactions to the MICA reboot, as exemplified by the following statements during the public appearances portion of last night’s city council meeting:
- “I fully support the idea of a Mercer Island arts center, but why does it have to be built on Mercer Island?”
- “As long as MICA can guarantee that not a single blade of grass in Mercerdale Park will be harmed, I can grudgingly accept [the new plan].”
- “The MICA people are full of sh*t, and so is their new building.”
Unlike the original MICA design, which was created by local architects, the concept for the new facility was produced by boutique Canadian architecture firm Treaux Jean Hors. DeLou declined to comment on reports that in the blueprints submitted to the city’s Development Services Group, the inside of the giant toilet contains a 300-seat theater, classrooms, art studios, and several other performance spaces.
City council members were effusive in their praise for the new plan. Said one: “We’ll do whatever the citizens want, as long as they promise to never, ever sing again during a council meeting.”